what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
