That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he fucked my hip out of place.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
