i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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