God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
