you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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