you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize