the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
