I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize