Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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