Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
