i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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