is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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