You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
