Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
