my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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