i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
