In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
