I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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