he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
