im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize