do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
