Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
