You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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