I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
