Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
