they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
