the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize