Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
