11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize