i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
