'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
