We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
