I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
