She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
