so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize