The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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