So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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