If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
