if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
