I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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