WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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