i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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