i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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