Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
