remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
