Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
