tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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