You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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