He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
