The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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