stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
