Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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