I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
