I think i peed on brittanys purse
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
