You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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