So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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