i just wanna soil my oats bro
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
