8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
