normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
