so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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