At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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