Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize