doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
