the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
